Blaaaaaargh!

disgustingthingsihaveeaten:

The man’s reply was “this place will remain child free after 5. It is a place for people to come to escape children.” I was taken aback and asked “is that legal?” He then said “It doesn’t matter. We make our own rules here.” [VIA]

Oh Amy Sohn what hell hath you wrought?

We’re not gonna go on one of those angry vitriol filled rants because despite all the pissing and moaning from the Greek chorus of Internet morons commentors it is not really the kids that are the problem but rather the self-entitled parents who think their every whim should be indulged to the fullest (SEE: Mrs. Disgusting Things I Have Eaten’s ruined birthday dinner, July 2009) and god forbid be inconvenienced for a second, even by their bratty children, and who lacked a decent enough amount of foresight to know better than to think that what the world needs is more people just like them because Christ knows we don’t have enough of those already, but to be real we here on the editorial board of the Internet’s most seldom trafficked food website Disgusting Things I Have Eaten wholeheartedly support this policy (Also, to echo the sentiments of one Paris Island drill Sargent to a friend of ours when he was a Marine cadet: “I hate you and I hate you fucking parents for having you even more” which was whispered into said buddy’s ear as he drifted off to sleep).

You know our stepmother’s niece’s daughter was reasonably well behaved that time we all ate at Il Vagabando but seriously common sense (and legal statutes) dictate if your kids can not provide a valid photo ID proving that they are of legal drinking age they probably have no business hanging out in bars regardless of if they are serving food. And that is coming from one who has been thrown out of their fair share of drinking establishments for failure to provide correct identification…among other reasons. The barroom (and on occasion a stall in the women’s bathroom at the South Street Seaport - but that was a long time ago) needs to remain a sacred venue and the province of those who like to swear a lot and sometimes do key bumps and get illicit blowjobs in the latrine.

Is this a world that the towheaded Skylers and Gingerlys of south Brooklyn need be exposed to?

FUCK YES.  Union Hall got Park Slope’s panties in a wad a few years ago with a “no strollers” policy, which, in and of itself, is perfectly reasonable in A FUCKING BAR.  Children have no place in a bar.  I go to bars to hang out with adults.  I go to bars to get drunk and occasionally loud and stupid.  I curse in bars, I talk about sex in bars, I talk about drugs in bars.  I may have been known to have sex and do drugs in bars.  Your spoiled, entitled children do not need to be exposed to that any more than I need or want to be exposed to them.  In fact, it’s not even your children who are spoiled and entitled, it is you.  You think that you should be allowed to do whatever you want whenever you want wherever you want, even though you had kids, which is a major life change.

When I bartended, I had a strict “No Children” policy, no matter if they were newborns or 19-year-olds.  NOBODY WANTS YOUR KID IN THE BAR EXCEPT FOR YOU.  If you can’t get a sitter, you can’t go out fucking drinking, dipshit.  You had kids, you get to deal with being a parent.  NOT ME.  Just because bars aren’t smoke-filled anymore does NOT mean they are acceptable places to bring your children.  THE END.