Blaaaaaargh!

ohgrowup: blaaaaaargh: ohgrowup: this is the title page done...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:06:07 -0500

blaaaaaargh:

ohgrowup:

this is the title page done in my new awesome color scheme

Fix that apostrophe!

i know! ju told me. it would have been a capostrophe!!!

HA!

ohgrowup: this is the title page done in my new awesome color...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:00:46 -0500

ohgrowup:

this is the title page done in my new awesome color scheme

Fix that apostrophe!

smudges: “My car just broke down and it’s cool I called the tow truck… but I am really worried...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:13:58 -0500

smudges:

“My car just broke down and it’s cool I called the tow truck… but I am really worried about the ham.”

—

my day.

At least your priorities are in perfect order. Of course, now I’m worried about the ham.

Math.com should be a dating site for typo-prone nerds.

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:56:00 -0500

Somebody once tried to actually argue with me over the plain...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:57:57 -0500

Somebody once tried to actually argue with me over the plain fact that Prince is the best musician/songwriter ever.

Man, if you want to argue this point, I have ammo for daaaaaayyyys. Do not even pretend you have a clue. He wrote multiple number one hits for Madonna before she even knew what a number one hit was. Sinead O’Connor had how many number one hits? Oh, just the one that Prince wrote? Yeah, that’s right. Wait, who wrote the most number one hit songs in the 80’s? Act like you know…

My real problem with the Tiger drama

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:50:00 -0500

Okay, Tiger, I’m going to lay some serious science on you here:

You are a billionaire. You are arguably the most dominant, most recognizable athlete in the world. You are widely considered to be the greatest guy in America today. You are, for all practical purposes, very good looking, and in remarkable physical shape. You have a beautiful Swedish wife.

STOP FUCKING UGLY, SKANKY BITCHES.

You can do better. You can pay for better, and hookers are notoriously better at keeping their mouths shut than nasty, fame-whoring cocktail waitresses. What the hell is wrong with you? If you’re going to cheat on your very attractive wife, if you’re going to risk your image, your livelihood, possibly your career, the whole point is to upgrade, you jackass. Personally, I think you deserve absolutely everything that has come crashing down upon you, and your feeble protests about your privacy are bullshit, because you gave up that privacy specifically in order to make the exorbitant amounts of money that you make. That is the tradeoff you agreed to, whether you currently like it or not. But you deserve even more scorn for getting caught with such stereotypical skanks.

inthesaddle: crabbyalissa: thedisgruntledgradstudent: hurrican...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:41:06 -0500

inthesaddle:

crabbyalissa:

thedisgruntledgradstudent:

hurricane-k:

lizlemon:

sheema:

First movie poster for SATC 2. I hope they can come up with better taglines than “Carrie On.

Wow. Um…

There are no words for how hideous this is. What a disaster.

Are they trying to make her look like a Real Housewife of Orange County?

Is it bad that I want that dress in, say, purple? And I’d never take it off? EVER?

I’ll admit, I kinda like “Carrie on”…I think it’s kinda cute.

However.

What’s with her face? Seriously. What? Her FACE!

Ugh. I blame this whole ridiculous franchise for so much of the bullshit entitlement and obnoxious behavior exhibited by so many NYC transplants (and, I’m sure, many, many women around the country, I just don’t see them). Seriously? People aspire to be like these prattling hens?

Also, one of my horrible roommates watches these idiotic DVDs at 3 times the necessary volume at all hours of the night. And she is exactly the kind of twat that this show was made for.

Dear filthy, revolting other roommate:

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:21:00 -0500

What in your upbringing makes you think it is remotely acceptable to leave a pile of dishes that breaches the boundaries of the sink and overtakes the entire counter sitting there for days upon days? Or that it is OK to leave food sitting out? Raw fucking beef, even? How about thinking that a grown, civilized person should leave his shaving scum all over the sink for 3 days after shaving? Do you think that’s normal?!? Do you think any person would find that acceptable? You know, even ugly gay men such as yourself get laid, but not when they have repugnant cleanliness habits that would make a college freshman shudder with revulsion. I can’t imagine the last time anyone touched you without being paid handsomely. And I can be certain that I never want to meet that person, much as I wish I had never met your disgusting, pretentious ass. You make me want to vomit every single day. I touch things in the house with the barest sliver of my fingertips because of you. I have lived with squatters who were cleaner than you. I have known stray dogs that were cleaner than you. I have seen elderly dementia patients wearing diapers and drooling on themselves that don’t disgust me the way that you, sir, a healthy adult with all of his faculties - who, for some nasty reason, is currently smoking a filthy cigarette crafted from the butts of 6 cigarettes that you didn’t even smoke - disgust me. Congratulations, Bragan, you are the most revolting non-bum I have ever met, and you outclass even several bums.

I never knew The Trash Heap’s name was Marjory. And I...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:31:39 -0500

I never knew The Trash Heap’s name was Marjory. And I watched Fraggle Rock religiously. Never stop learning, kiddos…

Oh my fucking god now you’re listening to Coldplay. There’s got to be a justifiable...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:05:18 -0500

Oh my fucking god now you’re listening to Coldplay. There’s got to be a justifiable homicide case in here.

Dear self-absorbed bitch roommate:

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:00:19 -0500

Your insomnia does not suddenly make 2:00 a.m. an ideal time to clean the house. You’ve been home for 6 hours, how about doing it while we were all awake? Don’t get me wrong, cleaning the house is great, especially since so much of it is your mess, but do it when people aren’t trying to sleep you fucking cow.

Oh, and the reason I don’t bring any of this up to you is that I would have to say something to you about every single aspect of your behavior and personality, which would amount to saying, “I hate everything about you and who you are as a person, could you please change it all?” and I really don’t have the energy for that conversation, nor do I care enough about you as a person to want to improve you. Suffice to say that you don’t or can’t understand why the TV is set to volume 12 or lower when I am watching it, especially when people in the house are trying to sleep, and that must be why you immediately turn it up to volume 45 when you are watching your insipid Sex and the City or Twilight DVDs at 3:00 a.m. Or the fact that every other person in the house takes their shoes off to walk around, yet you clomp around in your stupid knee-high boots (which, by the way, are really designed for less of a wide-load person; you’re ruining the effect they have when worn by actual attractive people) all fucking night long. And, yes, I knew you smoked when I moved in, but I really didn’t realize that meant at least a pack from the time you get home from work until the time you finally shut the fuck up and go to bed. I haven’t smoked in weeks and my chest, throat, and nose still manage to be completely congested. Thanks, cunt.

This could easily become a blog of its own, but, God help me, I won’t be in this shithole apartment past the end of January.

Brock Lesnar is a frightening-looking freakshow. edit: with a...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:47:00 -0500

Brock Lesnar is a frightening-looking freakshow.

edit: with a brass-knuckles sword tattooed across his front. Sheesh.

formspring.me

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:22:38 -0500

ohgrowup:

a loveless person is easy to identify.

well, this just happened. thanks, jerk.

ask me. do it.

I guess it’s possible this person was just making a general statement, but this really sounds like a dick thing to say.

I know you’re not loveless.

ohgrowup: rillawafers: Video of Lindsay Lohan getting naked...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:08:35 -0500

ohgrowup:

rillawafers:

Video of Lindsay Lohan getting naked for her photo session Muse magazine.

look- i just saw half nelson- i know what a cocaine party looks like and this is it.

Yeah, just because you saw Half Nelson. Mm-hmmmmmmm.

Also, I wonder what dude “Petey” was picturing Lindz as to get through having to touch her boobies.

Dear self-absorbed bitch roommate:

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:10:41 -0500

It is never, ever acceptable to stomp into a room where someone is clearly trying to watch a movie, sit your fat ass down heavily, huff and puff because you are just fucking DYING to whine to someone about your outstandingly boring day, then get on the goddamn phone and proceed to have an hour-long conversation about your “travels through Mexico,” which consisted of flying into Cancun, eating at some restaurants in Cancun, and flying out of Cancun. The next time you are torturing some poor equine at your horse-riding lessons by forcing it to carry your very ample frame, I hope the fed-up beast has the sense to throw you and stomp some sense and fucking manners into your spoiled, middle-aged princess head.

I have been told that Burn After Reading was an enjoyable film. Unfortunately, I still have no idea if it is.

Stick to screenplays, Chuck...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:42:10 -0500

So I just watched Choke for the first time, and it was actually quite good. The problem is that I despise - truly and completely loathe - the writing of Chuck Palahniuk. All of his books that I have read have been dreadful. Yet the two movies I have seen based on novels of his were excellent and were probably the only two fiction-to-film adaptations I have ever seen that outstripped the source material. Granted, the performances of Ed Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club, and those of Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, and Kelly MacDonald in Choke definitely had a lot to do with the vast improvement from novel to cinema, but surely this can’t account for everything. It’s not as if there were wholesale changes in plot, characterization, or dialogue in the final products. Has anyone else had this reaction?

ohgrowup: (via ) what i’m doing instead of writing about period...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:44:41 -0500

ohgrowup:

(via )

what i’m doing instead of writing about period rooms- learning is fun!

The bit about the swimming pool is news to me. Now I really want to try it.

Thanksgiving menu

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:35:52 -0500

This year I’m cooking the full meal for 9 people, the largest crowd I’ve cooked for thus far. Unfortunately I got sick as soon as I got down south, so I scaled back the menu somewhat. Here goes:

Molasses-brined turkey - been using this same brine recipe for years. It is amazing and I see no reason to deviate.

Bacon and cornbread stuffing - it’s not as good as the sausage cornbread stuffing I’ve made the past couple of years, at least not yet, but I wanted a bit of a change.

Butternut squash soufflé - this is all-new, from a recipe given to me by a friend of my mom, and I have no idea how it’s going to turn out.

Grilled asparagus - simple but elegant, and everybody gets stinky pee. Bonus.

Roasted garlic and Rosemary mashed potatoes - again fairly simple but a crowd pleaser. Somebody else actually insisted on bringing a sweet potato casserole, so I could have skipped the potato dish, but I find sweet potato casserole revolting and I want my damn potatoes. Keep your nasty melted marshamallows.

And of course giblet gravy. Sweet sweet gravy.

Tonight I made seared orange-ginger tuna steaks. Should have taken pictures, they were really good (but not as good as my usual pineapple-ginger). There will be pictures of the feast tomorrow.

Unfortunately there is still something important missing, and I can’t get it at the store. I hope you’re having a good holiday, whatever you’re doing. It’s not the same without you.

'The Irish,' claimed Sigmund Freud 'are the only race who cannot be helped by psychoanalysis'.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:17:24 -0500

(The Xenophobe’s Guide to the Irish)

Mark Wahlberg and Nicky Katt should remake "Good Will Hunting"

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:39:51 -0500

I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.